Scilence
by rry
Summary: Remus gets tired of how he and Sirius don't seem to talk anymore. It  breaks his heart. So he decides to something about it. slight RLSB


Silence

0o0o0o0o0o

Remus stared at the fire, completely aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks and the snot accumulating in his nose.

He felt like he was losing Sirius.

It wasn't very recently that he found they had very little to talk about. Almost a year ago Sirius yelled, "Be more TALKATIVE!! No more 'hmmm's or ''kay's or 'fine's! Talk to me!!" Now they'd sit at the table during lunch and just… sit there, depending on James and Peter to keep the conversation going. When ever they did talk it would just be of tales that they both had heard before; things about past pranks or stories about the summer that were told thousands of times over.

It seemed every conversation was a struggle. Talking to Snape now seemed easier than talking to Sirius.

And he hated it. Hated it more than anything else, because Sirius was his closest friend and he didn't want to loose him. These conversations, if one could in fact call them that, were long but short. They wouldn't consist of much;

"I feel like doodling."

"Okay."

"…"

"What?"

"Nothing, what do you want to talk about?"

"Um… what ever you want to talk about."

"I don't know… Have you read that book yet?"

"No, I had work to do today."

"Oh, I didn't have a lot of homework today, just to write an essay and then I hung out with Prongs."

"'Kay."

And that was when Remus tried to think of things to say. If not, then it would simply dissolve into silence and the occasional monosyllabic word passing between them.

Remus was tired of it. He hated it more than the moons. Hated it more than the secrets he kept. Hated the silence more than anything he could think of. He'd give anything to be rid if it.

Remus stood up and quickly wiped his eyes. He walked to where Sirius was and stood there, Sirius soon catching his blood shot eyes. Remus approached Sirius slowly and shakily, the tears running over his face again.

"I love you, Sirius." He said once Sirius was in front of him.

Sirius stared for so long Remus thought he wouldn't say anything but then Sirius gave a playful grin, stood, and said, "I wuves you, too!"

Remus shook his head and sniffed a small smile on his face. "I'm glad." Remus paused, "It seems like we never talk a-any more, or have nothing to talk about and I h-hate it." He stopped as a tremor struck his body and his heart ached at the thought of Sirius not being his friend anymore. Of just passing in the hallways and giving polite nods but nothing more. Just sitting at the table near him but not talking because they weren't friends and even if they were, they had nothing to talk about. "It makes me _so_ s-sad to think we h-have nothing in common any more. God, I'm crying right n-now. I hate how when e-ever we talk or pass notes all that we say are words so s-small we could fit them on the back of my hand f-fifty times. I really hate it." Remus placed his hands over his face and ducked his head, crying and his shoulders shaking.

Sirius stared, raising his hand slowly and placing it on Remus's shoulder. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. …I, I was a little preoccupied with something, but I'll stop now. I'm, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's not just tonight; it seems like most nights we can never find anything to talk about. Thanks, though," Remus leaned foreword and hugged Sirius, wrapping his arms around the other man's middle.

"Oh… sorry."

Remus gave a dry laugh and whipped his eyes, pulling back. "It's… okay."

"No it's not," Sirius said sternly, keeping his hands on Remus's shoulders.

"I want it to be though. I don't want to have nothing to talk to you about," Remus began to cry again.

"Okay, well," Sirius glanced away, "we should find something to talk about."

"Like what?" Remus paused and wiped his eyes. Sirius said nothing so Remus continued, "...I don't know, and it kills me that I don't know..."

Sirius struggled to find something. "Um… So, when are you getting glasses? You said you were getting some, right?"

Remus nodded and they started their first, albeit awkward, full conversation in quite a while.

0o0o0o0o0o

This is un-betaed because it's far more personal than anything I've ever written, so it may sound odd. My friend and I were in the same situation as Sirius and Remus, though instead of saying it face to face, we were emailing. I was writing this as it was happening so all the dialogue is our conversation. It may be a little awkward to read but… it's from the heart. It really made me cry to think that my friend and I weren't as good friends any more. We're okay now though. We talked about my glasses then it kinda moved on to this radio song-commercial about flat buns or something, very odd, but we are talking more in our emails now! Yay!! I just hope this keeps up! (All the dialogue is the conversation from tonight's email.)

Love ya all!!!


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